During this midnight season,
I felt suddenly i am hardly to fall asleep,
I really do not know why,
I always being lost,
Somehow when time passes,
i felt that I'm still kept within myself,
The place that i hide in a sense if secure,
Never forget to told myself to fight,
But i felt that i lost too much in my life,
What i miss,
I do not know,
The thing i figure out just make me almost out of control,
i wonder
if the day getting over,
What I felt anymore?
I keep asking myself,
Being timid and depress all the time,
The silence pass by
it reminds me of something i had lost
What i lost?
I always felt myself being loosing self-confidence
being strong in front of the public even my own family
They hardly to understand myself even neither i do,
What suit me? What i want?
The question keep surrounding in my mind,
What i need, and what suit me the most,
the coming footsteps diverge me into a few pathway,
And i felt myself being complicated,
getting and getting worst in the situation,
for studying so long,
I never ask myself what is my dream actually,
I live without goal for 19th years,
the future i draw in the past keep changing because i never set my mind,
And most importantly i never asking myself what is my dream actually,
During form 5 time, i aim to become a pharmacist,
But when i enter form 6 ,
my mind become confused,
is that what i really want it for the rest of my life,
what can i choose besides that?
what is my option?
Is that the dream i desire?
I'm struggling in the sea,
it makes me hardly to breath,
Is that i think too much?
But my mind cant stop that,
What kind of future i really want to is a question,
People say that follow your heart,
My heart is in a mess,
is it reasonable for me to follow my heart?
Even myself cant make a clear decision,
My brother, always can get ti know what he want in his future,
He always have the confidence within himself,
he never broke promises, and his future plan is inside his brain,
I know there is no comparison,
If you compare more and more, you might get suffer,
I'm a type of person who had more dignity of myself,
I do not afraid of being loser but disappointing makes me worst,
My insomnia is getting more and more serious
i really wish i might get a good rest tonight.
