Its 4.30 am in the morning,
The ever first time i wake up very early in this semester,
Lots of things to be happened and where there is pain and gain,
sometimes and somehow
she is lost
Lost in the stability of every single sense and yet emotion
Everyone thought she is forever silence and calm
no temper no fluctuation
But she just human being
she had exposed the most breakable part to a group a person just getting know roughly 1 year
It's not her normal behavior
She cant help
but sometime feeling wanted to excluded herself from the crowd,
away to everyone and left herself alone and alone,
She stressed but she didnt mentioned
She afraid what she studied now is it she can be managed?
Question marks getting more n more
Her confident getting less and less
She starts to doubt herself again again
Rumors make her getting worse in situation
She wanted to hide herself from none to zero
She is lost
She wonders can she be back?
Getting up or getting down is never a choice but is the sense of feeling
Sometimes she is in great emotion,
she feels hurt and this feeling continuously to getting bigger and bigger
till one day her hearts bleeds
And she cried silently in pain
Because her pride and dignity doesn't allow her to cry in front of people
but exception to the person she trusted
yet she is still in the way of searching
the long lost heart and soul
sometimes she doesnt wanted to voice out
because she thinks it cant help much in it
She's afraid of hurting people
she keep silent but she works
end of the time
Worth is never a true answer
Her loneliness spread
She still thinks she is alone in the journey of life
Because she cant and dont love
