It had been 365 days staying in Germany,
looking back into the past,
it just like yesterday.
Still freshly remember,
the days I was fighting for examination,
getting through all the days learning German language intensively from morning till evening,
memorise every difficult gender, grammatic, listening and etc.
Finally, I slide through B1 Level and it seems like officially sufficient for meeting the requirements.
Non-stop working hard in the year of 2016,
After 3 months internship, the day flying abroad eventually getting closer,
It seems that is the very first steps touching the dream I waited for so long,
3 years hardship come trues.
I didn't have any homesick feeling either in the airport or boarding.
I saw my friends crying, but I just stay calm.
After 15 hours flight, I reached my destination.
Germany is a country, u feel the people are cold and distance,
The moment I reached is pretty cold,
Nearly 13-degree Celcius with shower rains.
Undeniable, the air quality is too much fresher and clearer compare to Malaysia.
The roads are cleans, the views passing by are just what we saw in pictures.
I am too excited despite my body feeling exhausted.
Carrying the heavy stones luggage reaching my hostel,
Totally amazing, clean and organised.
However, the moment I see the staircase I going to faint.
There is no lift in Germany house and yet I stay on 3rd floor.
After finally settle my baggage,
We are again out for food, utensils, pillow etc.
It had been a week getting all the things needed and groceries.
When my family wonder am I suffering from Jetlag,
I will answer firmly, definitely no!!
I was too tired and my body exhausted after walking all the way.
Still, can't imagine I was taking my 40-litre backpack for groceries
I felt grateful to seniors and friends around,
inviting us to dinner for the first week,
prepare and cook for us.
Inviting us into a Malaysia UKM big family,
so we will never feel left out or lonely in the country thousands mile away.
Luck is never with me somehow,
Staying is a WG.
WG in a short form German word of Wohngemeinschaft, meaning a sharing apartment.
My room is pretty big, with a kitchen, bathroom and toilet.
Everything is just fine,
Initially, I staying with a Russian ladies,
the moment I reached she was heading to her holiday in Spain.
Left me alone, but is okay.
Just the cleaning problem, I have no idea how to clean it and I left it dirty.
The moment she back, she was truly angry.
And I felt first time being discriminate as Asian with limited German knowledge.
She can't stand my cooking with oil, everything she complains until one day we eventually fought.
After all, we both tolerate and finally she moves out in few months and I feel relieved.
At the moment, I strongly feel the importance of language,
If I can speak very good german, perhaps she will never bully me.
After that, I lived with a German girl and Syria girl.
Both are really good.
The German girl, Anika helped me improving my German language through daily communication,
She did pfannekuchen, introduce me german food from Bayern.
Aside from Language,
I experienced the most painful failure in my live,
I failed all my subjects in the first semester,
I felt despair and I know I had disappointed my mother,
It's like my world collapse in front of me.
I study very hard in the second semester,
more than 3 months,
I keep myself in room, study and writing my thesis.
The huge pressure, I felt myself in the worst condition.
I couldn't eat well, sleep well.
The time I'm having my examination I was just 42kg.
But the worst thing finally past,
For time being I passed one paper but left 3 more with pending results.
Although I still fail one paper, there is a great improvement and I knew I'm going to pass the next round.
Submitted my bachelor thesis,
I felt satisfied and after examination, I felt relief and alive!!
Seriously,
I looked for great food and starting to cook myself good food.
And now I'm back to normal.
You never believe even me,
I manage to be tough and independent more than I imagine.
I prepare and cook for daily meals,
I can cook rather more Chinese dishes now.
I can sew, iron my clothes well,
Clean my room and tidy my house,
I can manage to find cheaper room in Germany,
I worked part-time here,
first time earning Euros is just too great,
I shift myself into new house by my own,
carrying all the way by train and carry up to the 4th floor for 10 times!!!
Clean and paint my room in hostel before I return the keys,
Many and many on!
Solo trip and couch surfing,
16 days trains me into a better one,
I sincerely feel I'm now exploring the world with every path stepping to the countries.
I always reflect myself,
You have to be tough all the time because only you manage to help yourself.
First time getting sick in Germany,
the time is winter.
I vomited after drinking the black bean soup.
After vomit, I cry,
It is not because I feel not right, just because I need to clean up the toilet.
I totally homesick that time.
I miss my mother, miss the hot soup.
When you are sick, surely you will go to the doctor.
But you need to make an appointment in Germany!
I was blur lying in my bed for 3 days,
when it becomes better only I go to the doctor.
I swear not to get sick anymore.
I learned to live well with healthy diet and supplements.
I go through all difficulties I think within 2 years,
here challenges and obstacles coming,
And yet,
I'm waiting not to escape but facing and overcome it bravely.
I truly miss home,
Nevertheless, I told myself,
finish the bachelor, find a job
and
that's the time to go back home.
Proudly officially declare,
I'm graduate !!!
