THe News of 2013

It's 2013,
The feeling is not too strong for this year,
But this is the longest time i spent with my little brother,
He had to wait for his o-level result in order to get a place for a-level,
So he went back late than usual, earlier January,
And he back in Jan a week later,
I manage to do some shopping with him,
Actually i manage to talk to him more compare to last time,
Not sure why,
As i grow elder, i hope i can do better in relationship area,
Either Friendship or Family.

Stepping into the 20th year of my birth,
I gonna say goodbye to all my teen,
No more teen for me,
I do appreciate it very much,
Learn to share and learn to protect myself,
Neither you or me is going to let me down,
I do have a grey time in past couple weeks I keep having doubt to myself,
Keep thinking that i cant do everything i had thought off,
The feeling is terrible and it ruin my day very well,
I started to afraid of facing my result that is going to release soon in march,
I lost all my confident in all of the sudden,
I started to become weak and i have no faith at all to myself,
And i dont express my weakness to everyone,
maybe i just not familiar to do this because i used to be a listener, rather than a speaker,

Almost more than i month, i kept myself into struggle,
That time i havent found any job yet, so i really have a rainy day all the time.
Because i keep facing failure in my life,
The emotional is not too stable perhaps some parts due to my female hormones,
I dont know why my friends always trust me to be a confident, strong and of course determine person,
They found me ambitious,
But i dont get any of it within myself sometimes,
maybe libra just always suspicious to themselves,

In this 2013, I always hope my dream come true,
But in reality it come in the others way,
It really disappoint me,
however,
I'm still figuring out who am I,
Maybe others may understand more about myself rather than I do,
Double standard feeling keep loitering,
I still thinking the best future for me,
I still wondering between nutrition and pharmacy courses,
And i still hope that i manage to get in NUS or University of Tokyo rather than malaysia public university, Just wish i can have the chances to explore the outer world than kept myself in a small area,
I' not sure whether my dream come true but everything i wish is not a dream to me anymore.
I'm not that blogger type who have many colorful picture or interesting stories,
I wrote just about what I'm thinking,
Expressing in my own world, keep myself secure,
although i have no visitors,



...................... Just being who I am.

Just = Being whatever

During this midnight season,
I felt suddenly i am hardly to fall asleep,
I really do not know why,
I always being lost,
Somehow when time passes,
i felt that I'm still kept within myself,
The place that i hide in a sense if secure,
Never forget to told myself to fight,
But i felt that i lost too much in my life,
What i miss,
I do not know,
The thing i figure out just make me almost out of control,
i wonder
if the day getting over,
What I felt anymore?
I keep asking myself,
Being timid and depress all the time,
The silence pass by
it reminds me of something i had lost
What i lost?
I always felt myself being loosing self-confidence
being strong in front of the public even my own family
They hardly to understand myself even neither i do,
What suit me? What i want?
The question keep surrounding in my mind,
What i need, and what suit me the most,
the coming footsteps diverge me into a few pathway,
And i felt myself being complicated,
getting and getting worst in the situation,
for studying so long,
I never ask myself what is my dream actually,
I live without goal for 19th years,
the future i draw in the past keep changing because i never set my mind,
And most importantly i never asking myself what is my dream actually,
During form 5 time, i aim to become a pharmacist,
But when i enter form 6 ,
my mind become confused,
is that what i really want it for the rest of my life,
what can i choose besides that?
what is my option?
Is that the dream i desire?
I'm struggling in the sea,
it makes me hardly to breath,
Is that i think too much?
But my mind cant stop that,
What kind of future i really want to is a question,
People say that follow your heart,
My heart is in a mess,
is it reasonable for me to follow my heart?
Even myself cant make a clear decision,
My brother, always can get ti know what he want in his future,
He always have the confidence within himself,
he never broke promises, and his future plan is inside his brain,
I know there is no comparison,
If you compare more and more, you might get suffer,
I'm a type of person who had more dignity of myself,
I do not afraid of being loser but disappointing makes me worst,
My insomnia is getting more and more serious
i really wish i might get a good rest tonight.

Happy birthday To me!!

This year 2012 is a very special year,

In this year, The olimpic game is held in london,

And my idol - lin Dan won the second gold medal for badminton men single,

He also publish the first book - Until the end of the world 

Actually this year is my last teen birthday for me,

next year i will me 20 ,

The 2 symbolize old,

But i had read something on newspaper,

When you always have the young spirit, you will always feel young,

haha, i think i will,

This year my birthday (chinese lunar calander ) meets the english date,

It's is a very special date for me,

As my mum said,

i was born for the MidAutumn Festival,

I ate more mooncake rather than cake,

But my aunt bake chocolate brownies for my birthday,

Kinda special too,

My f6 friends create celebration for me in Kajang Pizza hut,

We just normally celebrate it,

With a blackforest cake - my favorite cake,

And a handmake card and apple,

Because they said i look like an apple,

Anywhere as long i didnt seem like a poodle as my indian friends said,

lol..

I recieve a message via facebook from my old old friend who now studying in japan,

He is a good listener,

We had successfully maintain our 9 year friendship,

although we actually have different friends, different topic, different living,

We do not stay connected everyday but once in the while,

I appreciate it very much,

For me,

I actually care more people think of me rather than myself,

I take friendship important for me 

but im afraid of  getting hurt sometime,

Something had wrong with my temper, 

But when i feel right about it, 

although you are my friend but i still will telling you the truth,

Am I wrong??

I still wondering with no answers,

My presents still pending yet,

haha, i wonder what is that,

but i knew it one of it is lin dan's book!!

The book i want it for long time,

My mum had give me a new handphone as my birthday present,

Haha,

finally my phone can get mp3!!

It is great,

And a bag i ordered via net,

I wonder how it looks like,

Well, After that -  deng deng deng deng,

My best friends sent me message at 12 am,

She is my best friend ever,

although we are in different places now and hardly to meet up,

but i still wish her all the best in her exam and future,

everything will change,

but i sincerely hope that our friendship can last long,

Lastly is my little brother lee song en,

I forgive you that you had forgotten my birthday 

since your exam is right around the corner

Hope you can do very well in your exam..

LAst but not the least,

I hope that :

- everyone can stay healthy, happy,

- get good result in my stpm,

- everyone will become better in this world XD

Love you !!! 

Argue

Something i need to express here,
Today, it really ruin my day,
Actually is kinda bad talking people here,
But I really cant stand at all,
And I really dont understand why people can keep complaining the same thing in few days,
I really peace off,
I just want to say that,
The world is not fair,
Nothing is going to be fair in this world,
The child instinct is going to be left in the old old world,
right now,
people are all about you can or you cant,
And sometimes because you own specialties or  others,
You may get thing faster and easier than somebody that more better and hardworking than you,
Even that you argue you wont get actually what you want,
It affects your day, your mood and your believe,
Trust in people and have faith in someone is good,
But it is different in each situation,
I think if you satisfy for what you have, you will be happier,
Life is just simple thing,
Dont mess up and end up with complication,
But i think maybe is my problem also,
I need to reduce my anger and my tone,
Next time i must be more ladylike,
If not people thought i'm scolding them,
Actually,
sometime kinda sad also,
I felt i always need to change my character to adapt into this world
But i think people always need to be corrected,
I do think i need to be more calm and patient all the while,
AS im growing up,
But i think the point that should be understand is,
everyone need to grow up
get connected to this world
and not just kept into your own world,
world is full of lot of different kind of people,
You easily get hurt if you keep in this form,
That all i want to say,
Just be rational,
Problem finally can be settle,
fought for nothing ending up to be zero,
Beyond the comparison,
What can you interpret from here,
Different people do different thing,
There is no way to argue that you are not worth it or what
But you never loose anything even you do more than others,
During the process,
you actually gain many experiences and knowledge that other does not
enjoy the process
you find you will be happy with it
and you have to thank you the person who ask you to do the thing,
because you may get use of it in future,
If you doing loose thing, you wont gain thing,
So why not we do it happily??

Be happy

- LiVe IS SimPle -

Life is Simple,
Be Who You are,
Be what you think,
Be glad,
Because you still breathing still air
You are still live
Appreciate what you have,
That's Life!!

September in 2012

- Hello September 2012 -

THE year of 2012 finally enter september,

I always like september,

The 9 words is meaningful to me,

because my date of birth is make up of 4 nine from 9 words,

haha..

However, this year september is hectic for me,

I just nearly finish my trial paper,

Oh my god, 

The question is very very tough..

How could i insert all 70 plus chapter in my head??

I need to find a alternative way for it..

Still have a paper to go - biology paper 1,

But the important part had all screw in 1 whole week,

This week just like a nightmare to me,

Coughing nearly 1 month still not getting better,

Plus i didn't get enough sleep, everyday day only sleep 4 to 5 hours,

My eye bag can fight with the panda now,

haha.. terrible look now = =

Still have a few couple month to go for my stpm,

If you ask me whether I am really for the test,

I definitely say NOT YET!!

Not confident in every subject, even math, 

somehow i felt is very very tough indeed,

Need some relaxation space ><

How about 60 years later? How will my book looks like?

perhaps few month later - my real holidays will be coming soon,

but before that,

I guess i really need to sacrifice a lot,

waiting my vacation next year!!

Will going Bali Island with my 8 high school friend together!!

It's amazing, so cool right?

We had book the air ticket!!

Waiting for the 31 March next year..

Suddenly feel like my life is like touch and go,

When i graduate for primary school,

I didn't contact with my friends until now,

Actually i did miss the time we mixed up together,

But after when i shifted to my house right now,

I no longer contact with them anymore,

It makes me sad sometime,

I wonder whether i will meet the same situation every time i graduate?

Still questioning myself,

Relationship regarding friendship, family is always the thing i thinking of,

But right now i still cant get the answer i want,

Perhaps is my problem

The day is rainy in these past week

My condition is not good now,

need to regain back my health and my mood,

Let's share some luck to all of you,

And me too ..

Goodluck!!!

 

 

 

  

The legend - Lin Dan

The New Badmintion single is out,
 the whole world is discussing the hit two hero,
China representative- Lin Dan with the full medal entitled vs Malaysia hero - Dato Lee Choong Wei,
Lin Dan is always my hero,
He is always my role model,
He is all the time,
When he played i felt this spirit,
perhaps we both are libra,
you cant really understand the feeling in depth myself toward him,
People usually cant understand why i prefer to support lin dan but not lee choong wei,
I could say there is no reason behind why i like lin dan so much,
Actually i also do not know why,
but whenever he played any match, it occurs naturally to support him,
i will be very very happy and satisfy when he won,
Conversely when he loose i will be very very down,
Non of the artist will makes me crazy like this,
And this supports had come to the 6 or 7 years today,
I like the way he played the game,
The confident from him had actually cover the whole area,
you can feel him when he is there,
He means champion, the toughest man in the badminton academic
People always say he is arrogant,
I felt that if he is not arrogant enough in his game,
he may felt timid and unstable when he almost loose the game,
He had a very tough and strong physiologic mind,
It makes him become the strongest warrior - the new king in badminton,
This is the spirit lee choong wei lack of,
I understand he had a very huge pressure on him,
but that's is not the reason of his failure,
The lacking of tough emotionally control makes him lost confident when i loose out some point,
For me both of them are the country hero,
You cant say that lin dan is not although china has a lot of medals,
but the contribution toward his nation,
you can feel it,
when the games over, two athlete cried,
One is because of disappointment, one is because of emotionally happy,
Lin dan is today's lin dan because of himself,
Every champion has story behind them,
the medals doesnt come as easy as you see,
I impressed lin dan' hardwork,
He always serious and pay a lot of effort during the training,
He always said that he is more lucky to win the medals,
but nobody knew that the hardship behind he had faced,
the obstacles and difficulties behind him,
I wish to get the lin dan new book - Until the end of the world,
I wish to get a chance to see him directly,
I wish my permanent idol - Lin Dan,
congratulation to be the first man who had won all the championship in this world,
and become the first person who save gold medal twice in the olimpic game,
I hope his spirit will continue,
The spirit to inspire me always to become a better man,
I will,
always remember the legend in my life,
The spirit from him, - Lin Dan

Regards,
wanying