Hey

Hey,
I just couldn't sleep
wondering someday
i might get some sleep
tiring soul and upset mind
tiring eyes but heavy heart
insomnia
putting me into frustration
i just wanna say
Please give me some relaxation spaces

when impossible turns dark

Sometime I really think it is a joke for me,
Everyday i open my eyes is just like :

Oh, I needed to wait again..

When i needed to wait till?
It is like an endless road
I cant see my hope and future,
i told myself i needed to be positive,
but somehow disappointment comes
and i am now in depress mood,
I just dont understand why i keep falling down,
stand up is hard somehow
i have no way to stand up,
i never thought i dont even get an entry into the university
is it because of my results?
But there are people less pointer than me
but they succeed
i still a failure
searching for the plan B
But i found out money is really matter
What i wanted to study it seems i need to give up
in the kind cross station
what am i going to study
what i need to do'
it just like a mess for me
keep drowning
is it so difficult for me to continue my study?
My mother wanted me to enter a better university
and she never thought that better university need more money
change course
what i can study instead of what i wanted to study
when thing come to money matter
it just ruin up your thought
no money no talk world
struggle and exhausted
i wish i just can disappear from this world,
keep myself in a hut
to gain some peace
that all i need now

蓝月

如果我不再仰望天空
是否
我就失去了梦的自由？

遗忘

有时候

很想拚命留住什么

却握不住手中的余辉

生命中有许多的不可能

往往无法像电视情节皆大欢喜

生命或许必须经历许多的无奈和无助

但是我们往往都因承受不住而落荒而逃

失去常比不曾拥有幸福

毕竟失去让我们想起曾经拥有的痛苦记忆

如果

我们连记忆都无法停留

至少我们曾经体会喜怒哀乐的滋味

希望

或许对有些人来说是动力

可是往往的是残忍的渴望

当你渴望

总是追逐你的梦想

却没有机会将心中的梦留在指缝间

那是残忍的温柔

逐渐吞噬奋斗的意志力

多可悲的剧情

或许什么都不要会比较幸福

A place where Future belongs

Entering the 20^th June 2013, it seems like I have been months do not update my blog.

All of the sudden, I felt that I have nothing to write out;

Perhaps I just have no sense of writing it.

Entering the mid year of 2013,

What I can say is I actually entering a new path of life,

Since last year 2013,

I’m be working out as a general clerk in a company nearby my house area

Working life is totally different from study,

What can I say is,

When you make mistake during your study you can actually correct it

However there is no second chance for you doing the same mistakes

Be cautions of everything you do.

Sometime might be very busy but sometime you are boring as fallen asleep soon.

Daily repeating the same job everyday,

Makes your life dull

No excitement, freaking boring – Sien..

Haha

However life aren't always colourful and beautiful all the time,

Weekends are my precious moment,

I an actually have enough freedom to do what I want all the time,

I can play games, watch movie, listen to music, hanging out with friends, sleep etc

Al I know that this kind of life will be continue for nearly 2 months to go,

Because soon I will get my university acknowledgement by next month,

Kinda worry but I hope I can get what I want,

The problem is what course I wanted the most?

That is always been a question for me,

Since I wanted pharmacy so much for these years but I knew I cant get it

Due to me very very sucks result

Is it the right choice that I choose chemical engineering or nutrition as my future choices?

Facing a dilemma situation now

My future plans are all breaking up now

I need to re-strategy back my future,

But I still find the back way to alter all my problems condition now

Perhaps I can get the best for myself

But at this moment time being

I just still figuring what I am actually

Understand myself seems harder than others else,

I think I just lack of some confidences within myself

Regain back the strength to be cheerful and charming is a tough question for me

Because I always looks confident in front of people,

Having a strategy plan for my own

All i need to do is sit and wait for temporary moment 

and 

I need to get back into my express way soon

I will find it one day

No matter how long it takes

All it is about is being as me - Lee Wan Ying

The toughest thing is the life is compete and win yourself

But i take it as a challenge,

Life isn't all about challenging ??

march complication

Stepping into March,
The time where complication meets,
I just feel like walking in the jungle,
Seeing many pathway of road,
Which road should i take?
The left one, the right one,the middle one but it just cant step back,
Things just moving forward but i just hope somehow it can moves backward,
My result is going to release soon,
During Chinese new year, i went for prayers,
And i get a wish upon my god,
the result that the god give me isn't very good,
that time i just feel that I'm heading to the Earth,
What if i didn't manage to get what i expected?

And what I cant get the courses i wanted?
Many question starting to come in my mind,
What courses suit me and what i want,
Actually i all what i want or what can i get?
I think should be the second one rather than the first one,
i still remember when my spm result released,
my result just hanging in the middle of the grade,
Disappointment feel on top of me,
i cant go anywhere,
i just get into form six,
two years passes,
the time to get another results of mine,
I am afraid to face this awkward situation anymore,
it's determine my future,
my career,
my life.
nothing much i can do just let it be,
When this kind of feeling crush into vacation mood,
it create complication,
Actually I do have a the feeling of looking forward the vacation date,
Just because i need to online check all the hotel things, the places,
And i just peace off sometimes while communicate to some human being,
But i had pay for the air ticket,
if not, i wont get along with them
But bali sounds a great place for me,
I guess i will enjoy it,
4 days,
i need to take leave for my work
and besides working as clerk,
i am going to teach tuition,
money money money,
all my mind is just earning money,
need to pay a lot of fees while entering university.
if i have the chances i will never entering local university
i hope i can enter uk and japan university,
Hong kong and singapore also not bad,
but i wish i can get away from home,
experience life in a stranger country.
Nothing can do but just WAIT..

Happy working, 

The first.day of working during chinese new year.  

Sent from Samsung Mobile