sunshine in my heart

The weather in these past days were terrible,
eventually i fall sick,
I hate the feeling of falling sick,
make me felt so uncomfortable,
The haze is back,
In addition the weather is terrible hot and dry,
I wonder what if you are in outdoor the whole day,
Perhaps the water inside you body may vaporised,
All results are received,
Well, it really make me very disappointed of myself,
however,
I really swear to myself to start study now for the next exam in july,
Life getting harder each time,
The moment i felt i'm getting through it,
It fails me the second time,
The obstacles is in chain reaction,
Keep going,
No one will stop by to look what happen to you,
I smile while teacher ask me
"wanying, what's going on with you,
you did it very badly this time,
you never did this before, you really surprised me but disappoint me"
The smile seems so weak for myself,
I have no excuse,
Excuses only for weak human to escape themselves from mistakes,
I never forgive myself if i do that,
So I dont,
Reading an articles of a friend of mine yesterday,
I never knew that she actually understand me more than I do,
I always fear of not doing the best,
I felt is not okay when someone is better than you,
Because i felt that I should always be better than other,
All about it is my pride,
I took it too high,
It is the only thing valuable in my life,
That's why i always remain confident and full of determination,
I never let myself fall,
Never,
I can withstand all the failure i met,
Just this time, my heart collapse,
My faith went to the bottom of the world,
Perhaps my friend's words were right,
I need to gain back my identity,
It's not hard i can say,
because if i think i can do it,
there is no way to block my determination,
I guess, i should go back my charming blue sky
instead of keeping myself under a grey cloth,
somehow i felt myself symbolised as a warrior,
The time of healing is enough,
well, i'm back to fight,
The sun i'm back to you,
To search back myself
Thank you very much to Peikhim,
To remind me during my very down season,
I'm going to be okay,
no worries XD